


Won't Hurt My Feelings

by bottledyarn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-11
Updated: 2012-05-11
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottledyarn/pseuds/bottledyarn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis says an offensive comment about Zayn in an interview, and Zayn takes it pretty badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Hurt My Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Originally by request on my Tumblr

“Ha!” Louis leaned back on the couch, smiling brightly at the interviewer. “Zayn spends half his time in front of the mirror, he thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He doesn’t care about anyone else.”

Niall snickered at the comment and shook his head at Louis. The other boys smirked into their drinks, Harry holding back a laugh. 

Everyone was quite amused, except for Zayn. Zayn’s eyes were downcast, a slight frown on his face. Did they really think that of him; think he was so vain that he didn’t care about anybody but himself?

The rest of the interview passed quickly. Zayn felt himself drawing back from the questions, trying to avoid the interviewer’s curious eyes. When it was finally over, he stood up and brushed off the other boys’ remarks as he strode out, trying to get back to his hotel room as soon as possible.

Liam called after him once, but gave up when Zayn didn’t turn around and just kept walking, getting into the elevator alone and making sure it left before the others could get in.

As soon as he walked into the hotel room, he kicked off his shoes and jeans, pulling off his shirt before throwing himself into the large bed, pulling the chilly sheets around himself tightly. 

Had the other boys always thought he was that selfish, that self absorbed? Did they not know him at all? He had probably the lowest self esteem of the group, and the only way he could begin to combat it was to try and hide it with carefully done hair, neat clothes, and a big, mostly meaningless smile.

Watching back some interviews, Zayn realized that he couldn’t even keep up that smile- halfway through the interviews, he would start frowning, his face blank and either bored or unhappy. He couldn’t help but worry that he didn’t look right, and would glance at reflective surfaces they passed, trying to make sure that his façade was staying firm.

He was surprised that it had fooled the people closest to him- hadn’t they noticed how uncertain he was in most situations, how unsure of himself he was? Apparently not. Apparently they took his actions to mean he was narcissistic, loving himself more than anyone else. Was that really how he seemed?

It sure wasn’t how he felt.  
A knock came at the door when he started falling asleep, and he stood up, putting on a hardened expression. He checked the peephole first, opening the door to a slightly concerned looking Louis.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked. “We’re going out for a late dinner…you’ll have to get dressed.”

“I don’t want to go,” Zayn said. “I was sleeping.”

“It’s a quarter of eight,” Louis said. “Are you okay?”

Zayn sighed. “I’m fine.”

Louis bit his lip, scanning Zayn’s face briefly. “Are you sure? You look…sad.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Zayn said. “Go to dinner.”

“I am going to worry about you,” Louis said. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

Zayn laughed. “I really am.”

“No, you’re not. You’re never like this.”

“Exactly,” Zayn said, slowly closing the door. “Have a good dinner, Louis.”

Louis stuck his foot in the door, pushing his way in and closing the door behind him.

“I’m not going.”

“Go, Louis,” Zayn said, pointing at the door.

Louis sat down on the bed, crossing his arms. “What’s wrong?”

Zayn tried his best to smile. “Nothing.”

“I know you’re lying. Sit down.” Louis patted the spot beside him.

Zayn sat down. “I’m really fine.”

“You’re going to sleep at seven forty-five on a Friday. You’re obviously not fine.”

“I’m just tired.”

“Was it what I said?” Louis asked. “I didn’t mean to say you didn’t care about anyone.”

Zayn shook his head. “Yes, you did. That’s what this seems like, doesn’t it?”

“No, that was just something I said in a stupid moment.”

“You sure sounded like you meant it.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re upset because I made you sound selfish?”

Zayn blinked rapidly, avoiding the nonsensical tears that were starting to surface. “It was just that I realized that you guys don’t really know me.”

“Of course we know you,” Louis said. “We spend all our time together.”

“But I’m so fake,” Zayn said. “I hate myself. Did you know that?”

Louis frowned, shaking his head. “I didn’t know that,” he said quietly. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s all there is to it. I hate myself. I pretend not to, and I try to make myself less stupid looking. So I’m just a fake idiot.”

Louis hugged Zayn from the side. “You’re not an idiot. You should have just said something.”

“What, just announced that I don’t like anything about myself? That isn’t exactly a normal thing to do.”

“But not liking yourself is normal,” Louis said. “And you know we would have tried our best to make you feel better.”

“I’m not going to feel better,” Zayn said. “I just have to keep this whole idea up so that nobody else worries.”

Louis smiled. “You’re really not selfish at all, are you? You don’t want people worrying about you. You know, you deserve for some people to worry about you.”

“Not really.”

“Yes, you do,” Louis said, standing up and then leaning back down to kiss Zayn’s cheek. “Now get dressed, we’re going to have dinner and you’re going to be yourself.”


End file.
